First steps

These doors, I have stood outside doors just like these a couple times this week. I have been in front of these doors before, this isn't my first time taking these "first steps". Taking the first steps even the second, third or for the hundredth time seems to never get easier.

I know what is inside these doors that will never change, I know behind these doors there is nothing to fear. There is understanding, love, warmth and total confidential.

Behind these doors tho comes with admitting that as strong as you are, as much as you do EVERYTHING on your own, that you don't need anyone and you can do it your damn self mentality, you can't do this alone because alone means doing the same damn behaviours over and over again. Alone means allowing the same damn behaviours to happen to you over and over again. Alone means standing still and not moving forward with the flow of life.

Now through these doors isn't easy, it is only for the strong, it isn't perfection, it isn't knowing everything, it isn't doing the right things EVERY DAY. What it is, is know you are strong, it is knowing you can do better and will do better. It is expecting better for YOU! It is knowing you deserve better. It is knowing that you are worth it. You are worth being better for YOU!

Logically I know all this, I have said these words to other women a million times. I have healed myself more than once and I know I am strong enough to do it again and know that if I work hard every day I will still slip and I will fall but I can and will get back up. Logically I know all this. I am the one that picks others up. I am the one who has been there done that and knows through experience and here I am, the one needing to take these steps.

 My heart and stomach seem to think other things at the moment.

I can tell myself a million things and understand them logically including that it is okay to be here....again. It is okay to need the support even though I am the supporter. It is OKAY

I am worth my time, the time I give everyone else, the support I give everyone else, the things I do for everyone else. I am worth all those thing!!! Now to just convince myself lol

Today is different, today I walk through these doors. I take a deep breath in and take those steps, only because a women seen me and started to talk to me and now yes I have to go in lol.


YOU are worth those first steps!

poop

My posts lately have been a little hard core and a bit hard to swallow especially if you are not ready for those topics. With that being said, those posts will continue to come because today YOU might not want/need to hear what is said in them but someone else might.

Well this post is far from hard to swallow, well unless you are swallowing poop, then it might be.

Either way, we all know it has been wet and gross and muddy. We all know what happens to dog poop in this weather and like any other normal swamped person I don't do dog poop EVERYDAY. I know shock and awe, its supposed to be done EVERYDAY, well whoever said that is full of....POOP.

We have a dog kiddie corner to us. He isn't the friendliest of sorts with our dogs and that is okay, but this lead to me running out back and dragging my guys in as to not bark too much and drive the the already crazy neighbours even more batty.

Well this spring I have my new pair of slippers, the ones we couldn't figure out if it was a bear or dog or what on earth it was supposed to me. They were a casualty of me running around the yard not watching where I was going chasing my 200lbs dog who believes that this is all fun and games, while my foster looked at us like we were nuts. I am sure right along with EVERYONE who was looking out their back windows at the crazy lady in slippers yelling at a 200lbs dog that is not funny, this is not a game while said 200lbs dog has the biggest grin on his face loving every minute of it. Did I mention it was raining.....SIGH

I get in the house and have to toss my slippers because can you wash them, of course not why would I buy washable slippers lol. 

Once again last week here I am chasing this 200lbs dog around the yard who thinks it is the best time in the world while the neighbours dogs barks and growls and anyone looking out their windows is laughing and recording the crazy lady with her 200lbs dog. Once again it is raining! Oh and this time I am wearing my new shoes! Yes my brand new shoes, why on earth do I even do that.

I come in the house and my shoes have poop on them, up side they can be washed. Down side I am soaked and annoyed and Bossoc is supper happy because he just had the time of his life...AGAIN. Gus isn't sure what the hell is going on but he is wet and unhappy about it.

I "ASK" Richard to wash shoes because I had asked him the day before to do poop (its done like every other day unless we have a mountain of dogs), he says he did , I beg to differ, I put my shoes in the unfinished bathtub and ask him to wash them off.

It is now week 2, I have been wearing my hiking shoes (They needed broken in anyway) and I am not washing my shoes on principal, well at least the first day it was on principal, the rest of days have just been because I had forgotten that they are in there and need to be washed. Eventually I will get to washing them just like I get to everything else, likely when I repeat the task and chasing Bossco and stepping in poop once again.

Yes I am laughing, yes I think it is all too funny! Even in the moment soaked chasing my dog its funny because well if you can not laugh at your soaking wet, dog chasing, poop stepping self what else can you laugh at :)

miscarriage

Too many to count. The heart break and ache each time. The fear that comes with being pregnant and knowing you could lose the baby at any moment is unbearable. Retracing every step of the last one so you avoid doing ANY of the same things. Even from simply eating "too many apples" or to staying in bed the whole first trimester because you don't want to over do it.

My last miscarriage was at 16 weeks. It was horrible. My mothers words still ring in my ears today "Its your fault".

My whole pregnancy with Blaine, I refused to tell anyone until I was past 16 weeks. I didn't buy a single thing for him until the week I was due. I didn't unbox or set anything up in his room until days before my c-section.

After he was born and still now I fear losing him in a way a mother who has lost children before she met them can only understand.

So many women are effected by this loss and so many women suffer alone, in silence and stuck in their own heads.

Doing an outfit for a rainbow baby last week gave me so much joy for the mother, but at the same time understanding what is lying just beneath that joy.

I personally didn't do rainbow baby stuff and still wont, its a fear of jinxing it, a fear of losing what you now hold in your arms.

There isn't much support for moms, we are supposed to just get over it an move on, its not like it was "really here anyway".

A loss is a loss is a loss period! I don't care if its a miscarriage, a still born, an infant death, the loss of a child, an adoption plan or (yes I am going to say this hear and no I don't care on anyone else opinion on it) an abortion medical or otherwise. Grief is what comes after. A grief only a mother can know at any state in the pregnancy.

Every tear you cry now and then, every fear you have now and then, every anxiety,  every guilty feeling, every belittling word you tell yourself, we get it! Those of us who are in this special club get it! We get it! We get the jealousy of seeing other moms, and then feeling bad about it because your supposed to be happy for them and you are but....your heart yearns for what they have.

You are not alone, not today, not ever! Reach out even if its an online support group reach out and find comfort in knowing you are not alone, your thoughts and feelings are normal!!!

Velveteen Rabbit

Nightmares and still cry even when I think about it. I wont ever own it or read to any child because of what it does to me.

The Velveteen Rabbit, I swear is one of the worlds saddest children's books.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/628169387/a-little-golden-book-the-velveteen

I had the exact book in the photo above.

Its about a toy rabbit that becomes a real rabbit. That isn't the horrible part. This boy gets the bunny for Christmas but ignores it for better toys and the bunny gets tossed aside. Well it just so happens later on the boy loves this toy and it goes everywhere with him they become best friends. The boy gets very very sick and the stuffed bunny never leaves his side. Well the doctor orders all this toys and room to be burned and disenfected including his favourite stuffed bunny.

The poor bunny is tossed into a sack and left in the garden where the boy and the rabbit spent most of their time having picnics and playing together, he cries and images the times they had together. The rabbit fairy comes and turns him into a real rabbit.

I don't know why this book has the memories it has, or why it has stuck with me my whole life. Or why I am even crying right now as I write this.

It's odd how some things from your childhood still effect you today.

What book did you read as a child that you hated or can't read again?

Spotify random!

I love this game! I also love this app. I use it with my Alexa. No I didn't get the free google home mini from Spotify. I guess I missed it!

Today I picked Daily mix for you

Blue Ain't Your Color by Keith Urban

I don't even know where I first heard this song, but I do like it. I like most things by Keith Urban

Vice by Miranda Lambert

I love her music, I know the words to almost all of her songs. Its just the kind of music you can belt out no matter what your mood

Yeah Boy by Kelsea Ballerini

There is actually a funny story with this song. I only caught part of it on 107.1  I missed the title and the artist and their website wasn't working right for recently played. I messaged the radio station with only a couple of the lyrics and about the time it was played. The only lyrics I remember was make the moon jealous and google was no help. A few hours later I was shocked when the radio station replied to me!!! I had never heard of this artist before or the song. But I love it!


I love the way you love me by John Michael Montgomery

His music breaks my break. I LOVE it I know that sounds horrible but its something about his voice, the way he sings and the songs he picks to sing!

Well apparently my spotify has decided that today I need to listen to country only. not sure if thats a good or bad thing lol.

Strawberry Wine  by Deana Carter

This song is from my childhood and my mom. Its a great song still today

Girl by Maren Morris

This song lyrics speak me. It is me.

OMG of course this one

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins

This is just a funny song. I love this artist too.

Bless the broken road by Rascal Flatts

I think spotify is trying to tell me something today :S

Different for Girls by Dierks Bentley 

So true!

Chattahoochee by Alan Jackson

Well not this is my childhood lol. Oh boy now spotify is making me old!!!


What does your spotify random look like?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Every time I hear this question I picture the 1990's Barney Tv show that my sister used to watch. Which you can see here to bring back all those wonderful memories.

https://barneyfriends.fandom.com/wiki/When_I_Grow_Up...

When I was a child I wanted to be a teacher or work with children in some way. As I grew up my idea of what I wanted changed more than once. Working with children in someway was always something I wanted to do, but never ended up going down that path. I have had many children cross my path throughout the years and I have been blessed to be able to help them along their road.

About 13 years ago I got the idea stuck in me somewhere I don't know where lol, my head, heart whatever. I ran a successful bakery for about 10 years until and even after my accident until the ability to even roll out dough became too much.

Don't get me wrong I love with all my heart sewing and creating the beautiful outfits and other items we do. I love the look on the children's faces when they can be batman or a princess or when I hand them a custom shirt. But deep down I have always wanted a bakery that gave back to the community.

Working with children directly isn't something I get to do but with homeschooling I get to work with my child!! I also run field trips and other fun events for the homeschool groups.

As I was writing this I realized I do get to work with children. I co-run the homeschool co-op I teach the little ones on Fridays.

Its funny how that has gone so I guess I am doing my childhood dream job on Fridays at co-op!

Yes I say when I grow up because each and everyday we are growing, I don't think as long as we have a passion for learning and growing that you ever "grow up".

I also don't think you are ever too old or to young to follow your dreams.

Will I ever have a bakery, maybe, but for today I have a business that I am proud of and that gives back through donations for events, auctions and those type of things.

Once in a while I get asked to make a cake, cupcakes or other deserts and it makes me miss the doing them daily. Maybe one day I will own that little Pink and Black bakery/cafe that gives back.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
What did you want to be when you were a child?

Summer bucket list!

Do you have a seasonal bucket list? I do, I write a new one each year in my bullet journal. Sometimes I get them done sometimes I don't but it is awesome for those days when you are not sure what you want to do. Kind of like a bored jar full of ideas.


When the weather is nice closer to late spring and all of summer I spend as much time outdoors as possible. I even work outside to get more time out there. When you live in Canada and the weather goes from 20 degrees one day to -5 degrees the very next day you tend to soak in as much nice weather as you can while it is here.

My summer bucket bucket list

--Beach!!!
We live in a city with water and beaches EVERYWHERE so not getting to beach is not an option. We try to go during the week so that they are not as crowded so we can enjoy it without being elbow to elbow with everyone in the city.

--Hike
Our Province has so many beautiful trails and green spaces if you don't hike you don't know what your missing out on. A few of trails I would love to either do again or do for the first time are: Flower Pot Island, Mystery Falls Trails, Killarney,and Frontenac.


--Weekly fun trips with the kids.
Some of the places we plan to visit we do as homeschool trips but the girls don't get to go with us on those because they are in school. Children's museum, Science North, Day out with Thomas, African Lion safari, Santa's village, Legoland, Niagara Children's Museum, Randos ranch and storybook gardens.



--Tent Camping!
I haven't attempted to take Blaine tent camping just yet so I am hoping this year I am able to.


--Drive in
We have one not to far from here and I have never been. It is something I have always wanted to do.

--Fishing
I love fishing and I am lucky enough to have a son who loves it too.


--St.Jacobs Market
This year will be the year I finally make it to the market EVERYONE talks about.



--Gardening
Not much to say here


--Visit every park in town at least once


--Visit all the splash pads everywhere


--Slow down and enjoy life more


--Do the Ontario Ice Cream tour

--Take lots of photos


--Visit family


--Paint slip and slide!


--Pick strawberries


And so so much more!!!

Do you know any secret trails?

Stuffing Recipe

Do you have a family recipe that you have always used. Mainly because your grandmother used it and taught it to your mom and your mom taught it to you? Well in my case my grandmother (may she Rest In Peace) taught me the recipe and it has been one that we have always used for as long as I can remember.

My stuffing is made inside my turkey, I know, I know, such a rebel right? With all the information these days about only cooking your stuffing in the oven and never in your turkey, I do it the way my family has been doing it for well over 60 years.

I whole heartily believe that most things "we know better so we do better" but in this case we are more likely to get sick from onions than we are from my turkey cooked for 8 hours in the oven at 350 degrees, so I cook my stuffing in my turkey.

Sitting in my grandmothers kitchen the Christmas before her passing she was really sick and she sat on her walker in the kitchen dozing off making sure I am doing EVERYTHING to her standards. She wasn't her self. The cancer in her brain made her unpredictable and angry.

The years before sitting in her kitchen helping her make the dinners were full of laughs. Her and I would work into the wee hours of the night getting everything prepped then up at 5am to get the bird stuffed and in the oven. The later it got the more we laughed. The year I dropped the 40lbs turkey while trying to transfer it to the roasting pan. She just laughed and said 5 second rules applies to turkeys too, as we team worked this giant bird back into the sink for its second bath.

Bread Broken into pieces

Supplies

1 big bowl or the lid to your roasting pan (this is what I use)
1 onion (diced)
1 loaf of bread broken up into small pieces
1/2 an apple (peeled and diced)
2 stalk of celery (diced)
1 egg
1 box of stuffing mix (this is the secret ingredient)
Water as needed to squish the bread together

Support Local!

Step 1:
Put bread, diced onion, diced apple, diced celery, stuff mix, and the egg into the roasting pan lid.

Step 2:
Mix with your hands (nothing else will do). Add a little bit of water at a time to achieve balls small enough to fit into the rear of your turkey.

Step 3:
 Form balls of stuff and shove it into the turkey tooth pick it shut once full.

Stuffing Balls

 If you have extra stuff put it in the neck end under the skin and tooth pick shut.

With this recipe I have never had dry stuffing and it is always amazing!















I will never get to have these times again with my grandmother but I am blessed to have the memories with her that not many got too. I hope I am blessed enough to make these types of memories with my son as he grows!!!!

I would love to try your family recipes!!! So what is yours?

Political post!

Posting about political stuff really isn't something I do but today I decided to be different!

Read to the end of the rant it will be worth it lol


Currently in Ontario we have a PC government which is the conservatives. The head of the party for the conservatives is a "man" named Doug Ford, he was voted in by people who apparently don't remember the Mike Harris days in Ontario or people who just like voting for someone who has no political platform of their own, called little trump, no high school education and just plain hates our province. No I don't want to hear the excuses that oh but they couldn't do any worse than the liberals.

First Ford took away the new and improved sex education, no I don't care about your opinion of transgenders, or any other LBGT+ community members or supporters, wake up its real, its now and it should have been in our sex education program years ago, as well as bullying or so many other issues what was in our sex education before Mr.ford got a hold of it.

Stripping OSPCA rights and ability to do their job and giving it to local law enforcement, which its a fight to get them to even respond to an animal abuse call let alone press charges. Yes I have had personal experience with this.

Taking funding from education, healthcare and so much more including the endangered species program. Don't start with me on the Trudeau carbon tax, because I will tell you right now, we had our own for years Mr.Ford removed it, so don't blame Trudeau for what Ford has done. No I am not a fan of everything the Trudeau government has done but at least he hasn't taken health care, education or rights from the ONLY animal protection agency we have.

Now that I have ranted lets get onto what I actually have to say and the real reason for this post. I am in no way a political contender I do not have the money to run for any type of government let alone the Premier of Ontario.

If I did though, I would make a few changes. Yes I know everyone says that but I truly believe that if someone who actually cared about the province and the people who live in it got elected and not someone who is just in it for power and money a lot of great things could happen. 100% of the 1% would be pissed off with me that is for sure!

 Instead of cutting health care, education, OSPCA, other animal resources. EVERY government employee would be either cut to or given a raise depending on what they currently make to $97,000.00 a year! No more no less and is everyone from the premier (yes that would be me lol) all the way down to the teachers.  BAM huge savings right there. You don't like it tough cookies, find a new job not in the government and I will find someone who actually cares about the job not the money to replace you. Yes thats right EVERYONE is replaceable.

Removing BSL well ya thats a given, tighter laws and regulations for animal breeding and abusers.

Now lets talk health care, addictions is a huge hit to our health care system and most of them are homeless or living on Ontario Works. So lets fix that, no not by drug testing for assistance but actually creating programs that help those who want to get clean, get the help they need and not just the detox but EVERYTHING that goes with it. Detox, aftercare, NA, supports, counseling because we all know that people don't become addicts just for the hell of it, oh and transitional onsite housing to help them get work after, and stay clean because we all know its not going to happen over night.

Yes there will be those who don't want the help and that is okay, lets give them clean needle sites with staff that can help them. With posters and information, someone to talk to etc to show them that when they are ready the help is there.

Now we focus on the traffickers.  Ecstasy, E, or the sex drug whatever you want to call it comes with a life sentence per 10 pills. Lets make those who sell drugs like fentanyl, purple fentanyl, and other such drug 10-25 years (25 years if life in Canada) per 2 points found on them (I was just told the other day points is how fentanyl is sold), but not just jail, while in there they have to complete mandatory drug treatment and counseling not just drug counseling but psychotherapy as well, they have to complete their grade 12 if they do not have it and pick a job they would like to have when they get out which they will be required to train for as well as work in the field supervised. Once they are released from the prison system they are not left on their own, they will have someone on the outside to continue to assist them until they are on their feet and stable. Kinda like a sponsor in AA but for newly release prisoners.

Mental health is another HUGE hit to our health care system. First we need to train our police in proper handling of a mentally ill person in crisis. This is big because right now almost all police in Ontario are riding by the seats of their pants when it comes to someone who is in the middle of a mental health crisis. Lets work with these people the same way we work the addicts. Lets get them the care and help they need and lets get them a mental health "sponsor" to help keep them on track. Lets add funding to cover psychotherapy for those who are low income to help get those who need the help to a place where they are not just functioning but thriving.

Hallway medicine is a problem in Ontario and its not that we need bigger hospitals because we don't we need more nursing staff and PSW's. We also need trauma care and help for those nurses who are burnt out. We have the beds, we have room we are lacking the staff period.

Pharmaceutical, right now if you are under 25 your prescriptions are covered, unless you have outside benefits through work and such which is great. Lets change that to ALL AGES if you do not have benefits then they are covered, minus the dispensing fee.

Dental Care this is another HUGE hit on our medical system. Lets cover once a year cleaning, help fund the dentist programs that are probono or pay what you can programs and lets cover 50% of dental care (not orthodontics) for all low income families. 

Families caring for aging loved ones, this is great for the aging person and good for the medical system so lets help them more instead of 10 hours a week covered for PSW up it to 20, add in funding for daycare type programs for the aging this would help families keep their loved ones at home instead of at hospital and would help families not feel so overwhelmed by it all, because taking care of an aging loved one is not easy. 

Follow Newfoundlands approach to everyone over the age of 18 is an automatic organ donor unless you go to the site and say no.

Well I think that about covers health care unless others have concerns as well. 

Before you start saying well cutting everyone's pay isn't going to be enough to cover everything you want it to, well we not only have taxes, federal gov funding, cannabis taxes. (Yes I am a supporter of legalization, no I don't smoke it, yes there would be more shops opening). Plus over time we are going to see drop in cost for over doses, policing, ambulances, 911 dispatchers, hospital visits etc when helping addicts get clean, helping drug traffickers get on the right path and help mental health patients get the care they need.

Yes it will be a slow process but it will be worth it.

Education!!! This is so important, but things have changed over the years and the needs of children, families, teachers and the work force has all changed too. This means our education system has to change with the times. This means BRING BACK THE SPECIAL EDUCATION CLASSES FOR THE CHILDREN WHO NEED IT, yes I said and I mean it. Dealing with a child in the school system for years showed me that these children cause more harm and disruption to the class, themselves and teachers than is safe. No child left behind I get that but lets look at doing it in this way okay move them forward with their peers but getting the help they need as well. NO child learns the same as the others. Lets make our classrooms SMALLER!!! Lets put more ECEs into the system, Lets add specialty classes younger. Yes Online learning is great but only if the child can learn in that setting, make them optional courses in high school. No tolerance on bullying means NO tolerance this means that the child being bullied and the child doing the bullying go to counseling to find out whats really going on and help them over come it. Teachers know best when it comes to education, so lets hear ALL of their input, ideas and so much more they can offer. All schools have gardens and its taught from Kindergarten all the way up. Taxes, politics, health, cooking etc all classes that are taken in collage. Instead of Gr 9 and 10 Science being mandatory. Lets do Gr9  Math, English, Nutrition/Health, History, Science, Geography, Art/Music, Career/civics mandatory. Gr 10 Math, English, Politics, Mandatory the rest optional based on each childs career choices.  Gr 11 Math, English, Taxes Mandatory the rest optional based on each childs career choices. Gr 12 Math, English the rest based on the childs career choices. Lets give them a leg up on knowing what they want to do and a taste of it in high school before they spend 10,000.00s of thousands of dollars on schooling and realize it is not for them. 

Put back the money Mr.Ford has taken from low income families for collage. 
Put back the teachers, the EA's and other support staff Mr.Ford has taken. 


Where is this money coming from you ask? well lets see taxes, federal government funding, the cuts I made to the government employees and the money not being funneled into health care for addicts cycle of addiction, not funneled into the mentally ill who are left in crisis. 


 Prison System, this one makes me mad. Our System in so broken it isn't even funny. First ALL inmates who are in jail for cannabis use or trafficking are now released. Those in jail for trafficking in general will go through the new program. Those in for crimes against children, murder or worse they need physiotherapy and other therapy needed for whatever is mentally wrong that caused them to commit the crimes, get their high school degrees, and focus on a career. Also there is nothing wrong with prisoner that work. Lets bring back the full inmate working program.

More guards with full police training plus other training. More support for guards and prison staff just like the nurses and first responders. 




Restaurants and businesses who donate day olds or left overs at the end of the night to local food banks get cut backs!!!

Follow Newfoundlands approach to everyone over the age of 18 is an automatic organ donor unless you go to the site and say no. 



I have a ton more that would change for the better, but in all reality this post is LONG AND BORING so I doubt anyone will actually read it all. 

What would you change if you were Premier? 

Homeschool: Birthdays

Birthdays now a days are hard for any child at any age. Most invite the whole class, those who are in school anyway, and no one shows up or only one person shows.

I spend 100's of dollars and 1000's of hours planning and getting everything ready for my son's birthday to have only my business partner and her children show up. Well this is not only hard on the child but it sucks a parent to see your child have to go through that. Not even family shows up for his party.

I noticed a lot of homeschool parents have this problem too as we do not have an entire class to invite and if you do not have a large extended family or friends group well then you have wasted time, money and your child's heart and not understanding why no one wants to come to their awesome party.

When I was a child we went to EVERYONES birthday and everyone came to ours, there was never a worry about if someone was going to show up or not. I was taught from a young age you are lucky enough to be invited to someones party you are going period. And our parents didn't throw elaborate parties, there were games, hot dogs (pizza if you were lucky), prizes, cake, presents and playing. The parties I throw today would be considered weddings with the amount of time, money and work that goes into them.

I spoke to other parents in the home school group and they have the same problem when they do not have large families or friend groups. They all do trips and things like so this year I have decided to do just that, we are doing a big trip to legoland!!! instead of having a party that no one comes too.

We will still do our tradition of East Side Mario's which we have done every year since his first birthday that is just us and a great time. 

With that brought to light though it has given me the ability to see that this is a sad problem for many in the homeschool group, so with that said I decided that if parents are hosting a party for their child and they are wanting to have kids actually attend to post the party in our homeschool group and invite everyone to join them in that age range so they have friends to play with. Who knows life long connects might be made at one of those parties.

A child should never have to ask why friends and family don't attend his parties, or feel lonely on their on birthday. So no more!!! Do I care what family says? Nope. My business partner has already said she will go with us so the only one who comes will be there anyway so that is all that matters.

Everyone deserves to feel special and loved on their birthday!!!!

New idea!

Time, I never seem to have enough of it no matter how hard I try. And if someone says one more time "well if Blaine were in school" I will rip their head off and fed it to the dogs, no really.

Its not about coming up with more hours in the day to get things done or putting Blaine in school it is about me making the most out of the time I have.

I am bad for getting onto a task and losing track of time and instead of getting time to do the other things I needed to do I have now run out of either time or energy.

Timers, my phone has this neat little feature which I am sure most new phones have it (insert sarcasm tone). As I write this blog my timer has been set for 1 hour. That means I have 1 hour to blog for today and if I happen to get more time later on then so be it but right now I get hour to get whatever thoughts are going on in my head out on the white screen of my blogger template.

This means that when I start a task, depending on what it is I have 1 hour to either finish it or move onto the next thing I need to do, which includes cleaning!

When it comes to Blaine or his schooling there is and never will be a timer. Playing and learning are done without limits!!

I use my timer for cleaning, baking, cooking, blogging, working, party planning, etc.

It is not used for shopping lol, as it takes me 5 hours and 10 stores each week. 

Take today for example. I have 1 hour to blog, 1 hour to bake, 1 hour to clean, 1 hour to fold and put away the laundry, 1 hour to work on my sisters baby shower, 1 hour to work on business stuff and so on.

I know it may seem pretty simple to most people to be able to just move from task to task but my brain doesn't and never has worked that way. What happens is I will start cleaning, get distracted by something in that room IE the book shelf needs sorted so I will move onto that and the cleaning wont get finished.

Unless Blaine needs/wants something then my focus is only on that activity for that amount of time.

Crazy right, wonder how much you can get done on one thing in an hour, well when my focus is only on what I am doing for that one hour I can clean the whole main floor, fold and put away 5 totes of laundry, start and finish 2 blog posts, cook and clean up an entire meal all before serving it.

When you force your mind to focus and tell it, "you only have 1 hour you got this" it just happens.

Client orders, sometimes I limited myself to 1 hour at a time depending on what it is and then an hour later on etc because I become hyper focused at times and hours and hours can go by and it isn't creating a good balance between work life and SAHM life.

How do you focus? How do you divide your time?

I will update in a months time and see how I did with this :)

Baby Shower: Butterfly Napkins

Yes I am still working on things for my sisters baby shower. It is only a month away and still a lot to get finished.


These are super cute and could be used for a baby shower, a birthday, mothers brunch, Easter dinner and so many other occasions. I used white utensils, pink napkins and gold curling ribbon because those are her colours but you can use any you would like.

The bigger the napkin the bigger the butterfly, also if you used those tiny elastics on the utensils first it would make life so much easier but, there are children going to be attending the baby shower so I don't want to risk the chocking hazard.


Supplies:

Curling ribbon
Scissors
Tiny Elastics (if you are using them)
Napkins
utensils

Step 1:

Gather your supplies

Step 2:

Cut your ribbon the desired length.

Step 3:

Stack your utensils

I found knife, fork, spoon order stacked the best.

 Step 4:
Fold your napkin like a fan

Step 5:

This gets a little tricky and where the elastics come in handy for hold them today while you tie.
Hold you napkin in the over top of the utensils all in one hand, while wrapping the ribbon around both the stack and the napkin then knot. Make sure you not is at the top of the center crease.

Step 6:

Trim the ribbon ends but not too much these are the antenna for your butterfly

Step 7:

Curl just the top of each ribbon end.

 Step 7:

I fluff out my ends to make it look more like a butterfly than a bow tie, but that's all up to you and your likes

And you are done, now I have 40 more to make!! Enjoy!!!

Speech

With homeschooling comes comments and opinions from all sides and with those comes more mom guilt and with that comes the worry that you are not doing enough, that your child isn't where they are supposed to be, that you are doing you child a disservice.

Then comes appointments like the one we had the other day at Pathways, it is our local center that helps children with all kinds of things. From speech to severe autism, they are amazing!

Just before my son turned 4 he had an apt because I was worried about some of his word sounds and the way he says things.

At that appointment she told me to work on waiting games so he could work on waiting for the other person to go.

The differences from then to now, which is about 6/7 months later. He is 4, is has at least double the attention span of last time, is great with waiting his turn and scored high on everything expect for explaining why two things go together. IE foot, bed, hand. Foot and hand go together because they are both body parts. His answer was because you walk with one and write with the other. Which she said if it wasn't a standardized test he would have gotten that right. IE Pants, Bread, Shirt. Pants and Shirt because they are both clothes. He said because they keep you warm. She said once again he would have gotten that right but because its standardized it has to be a certain way.


At the end of the appointment she said he is doing amazing and discharging him because he is a at the age 6-8 for speech.


There is a test that when he is 6 I might want to have him do there which is the same as what I have. My ears hear it but my brain doesn't process it all the time. This means that people repeat themselves a lot or it takes a min for my brain to catch up lol.

Just the way it is but he can't be tested for it until after 6 years of age.

One proud momma over here!!!

He may not be able to write yet but he can speak and organize and follow directions in an advanced way.

I will toot the homeschool horn for a few days or until someone so nicely points out that hes missing out on such and such and mom guilt takes over once again.

Whats your mom guilt look like?

Planners

My all time favourite planner is the Happy Planner from Micheals. I love that you can take pages out and add pages to modify.

I love my planner so much I sit down and fill it out at least twice a year and forget to take it everywhere when I leave.

Fancy cover for my planner (I bought it with a planner in it many moons ago)

Guess that means I love the idea of my planner and being organized. Its a good time if I remember to update the giant 2 month wall calendar before 4 months have passed lol. Do I suck at planning and being organized? No not really. I am actually great at planning, organizing and all that jazz. What I lack is the time to actually fill these things out and the memory to take them with me.

My happy planner cover, not that you can see it inside the fancy case

I tell myself every couple of months when I start a new planner or fill out the old one that I will do better, that I will remember to take it with me, to fill it out and remember where I left it last. I get so much joy from filling out the pages with my beautiful pens. I have a thing for pens I will explain in another post.

Inside the planner this is month at a glance.

When I update the wall calendar I promise I will fill it out so everyone in the house is on the same page. I end up forgetting or lose my wippy board markers, or they get used on paper and then are no use for the washable calendar.

What each week looks like. Lots of room under the days to put information

As it turns out I planned on setting up my planner today but well it would seem I couldn't find it anywhere. My normal stash spots for it are the kitchen table under all the homeschool stuff, in the car down beside the passenger side of the seat or with my bullet journals in the living room. It seems it is not in any of those spots.

All cleaned off from Feb/Mar lol

 So planner is set aside for another day when I remember.

On the upside I do use my google calendar which is connected to my sons dads phone as well so he knows whats going on. The only down side is I always tell myself I will put it in the calendar later and end up forgetting.

Sigh one day I will be pro at this stuff but for today I will continue to put in the effort.

What is your favourite planner? What is your favourite way to stay organized?


Update: I ended up finding my planner on top of the fridge, not entirely sure how it got there because I am far to short to reach it. Turns out I need to get new pages for it. The current pages end in June, oops.

Homeschool Week 19

Animal Tracks! This would be way more fun if we had actual snow but this year winter seems to be delayed.


We will be using the same two work books we have been working through for a little but now. They are morning starters an educational workbook that I found at Dollar Tree and my first book of color craze, which was also found at Dollar Tree. The book we are working on this week is called "school" by Scholastic. We have also started doing our letters on paper this week we will be covering E, F, G he loves that after he finishes doing each row of letters he gets to do a letter in his own name! Our science experiments came from "The USBORNE big book of Experiments".

Day 1:

Sight word Play flash cards, this week we are reading the book lunch by scholastic, writing, workbook, animal tracks worksheet, ABC Mouse

Outing: Playgroup

Day 2:
Sight word Play work sheet, reading book Lunch, science, workbook, animal tracks video, ABC mouse

Outing: Skating


Day 3:

Sight word Play flash cards, reading book Lunch, writing, workbook, Animal tracks at the park, ABC Mouse

Outing: We are going to check out animal tracks and see if we can figure out what animals left them.


Day 4:

Sight word Play work sheet, reading book lunch, science, workbook, making animal tracks with paint, ABC Mouse

Outing: Skating

Day 5: 

Sight word Play flash cards, reading book lunch, writing, workbook, ABC mouse, animal tracks video

Outing: Library