OMG Energy

 

 

 

 Today I was going to write about a hard topic, today I have started and erased this post about 15 times before deciding that my goal today isn't to cover hard stuff, it's not to cover what I am dealing with because I can't even write the words on paper.

So instead I am going to write about my weekly workout and yoga routine this week.

It's a topic I love and can get the words out without crying or struggling with them.

Today is day 18 of my new program.

I started Thrive by Level 18 days ago, well actually I started it a bit longer than that because I did a 6-day trial and then had a break while I waited for my products to arrive.

I don't sell the product, nor am I pushing it. I do my daily videos to make myself accountable to show how the products work for me.
 I am not using it for weight loss I am using it for energy.

Each morning I drag my butt out of bed somewhere between 7 am and 8 am depending on how the night before went with the kids and my pain level.

I get up, head to the kitchen to take my vitamin capsule. They are these purple and white things that are awesome.  I set up my camera on top of a box in the kitchen and do my video. There are two in each pack, I only take one because that is what my body can handle. You can take one or both, you can start with one and when you are ready move up to two.

I suck at videos but I am learning.

After I do my video I feed the kids and get them going on their morning routine. Then I have a shower.

After my shower, I do step two which is a pre and probiotic powder. you mix it with water or milk. I use water. I only make half a package because my body can't handle the full package and I can never drink even the whole half of a shake. I am used to drinking just water or black green tea so for me to drink something with flavour is hard. 

I video both steps two and three at the same time.

Step three is this cool vitamin patch. This is probably my favourite part. You put this right on your skin and the best part for me is that I do not have any reaction to it at all. No skin peeling off no burning NOTHING!!!!
This is super exciting. I can't use band-aids or even paper tape because my latex allergy is so severe it causes these reactions (adhesive contains latex).

The patches use the same science that we moms have known since the dawn of time. Our bodies absorb more nutrients through our skin than any other way.

They don't stick very well to me at first so I have to clean the area by rubbing alcohol on it before I put them on. You don't put them in the same spot two days in a row. There are many different places you can put them, however for me I find my biceps is what works best.

After 10 days I started to notice as long as I didn't have a migraine then I didn't need an afternoon lay down. I started to notice that I had morning energy in the mornings so much so that I am annoying to the others in the house lol. It has also been easier to stick to my workout plan and get all my steps in!

If I could afford it I would pay for every mom I know to try it even if it's just one month.

So that covers the new product I am using, I will post a couple of videos I have been doing along with it. If you decide you want to try the product I can give you the information of the amazing lady who sells the product (No it's not me )

#parentingquotes

I try really really hard to be a positive parent. I believe that having a little girl repeat every morning with me I am smart, I am a kind person and I am going to have a GREAT day, helps her have a good day at school instead of a rough one and ending up in the principals office.

I think that reminding myself to take a breath and tell myself I got this, helps me get through so many situations including parenting ones.

Before play group I always say to my son " we are kind, we are going to treat other children kindly and we are going to use our words" makes for a more successful playgroup for homeschool trip.

Positivity effects all aspects of our lives and I am a strong believer that the thought comes first and feeling comes second. My mother taught me this quote and I HATED because she would always use when I was just trying to vent to her or in a nasty way. I turned that phrase into something different for me. I turned it into a way to use it positively. I am sure in some sort of weird way that my mother was trying to explain it this way, but the thing is my mom isn't so good at talking to me about things.


If you can't tell already my #parentingquotes this month is Thoughts come first feelings come second.

Our outlook on life can not only effect us, our day, our whole lives but it also effects our children and the way they are going to walk through life.

If we give the tools now to help them through any situation that they come into they will be able to negate life like a pro.  Which sets me up for next months #parentingquotes

http://www.megannichole.com/2017/04/14/baby-chicks-are-fun-fluffy-and-full-ofbacteria/

Cookies

Yes its considered homeschool. Lets look at why.

Things they learn:

Measurements (Math)
Science
Patience
Fine motor skills
Cooking skills
and probably many more things that I just can't think of at the moment.

Today was the first time in Blaines little life he begged me from the moment he woke up to bake cookies. He hates getting messy, has a hard time focusing on one task and well has the attention span of a wet noodle (Yes I say that with LOVE).

Two days ago he found some cookies cutters I had gotten on sale at Micheals and was planning on using just for fondant.

I haven't made shaped cookies in so long, not for Christmas or anything. I used to make them all time but the past few years I have had no interest in them. (A lot has changed because of the brain injuries)

Because of the many many many years of baking for clients I am a bit of a control freak in my kitchen between no dogs, special clothes, hand washing etc. Well when it comes to children in the kitchen everything changes and tends to go out the window.

It took a lot of self talk to remind myself these are not for clients and that its okay if they are not perfect or not the way I would do it. JUST HAVE FUN AND ENJOY THE MOMENT!

The butter didn't get quite mixed as well as I would have in the mixer so I worked on that while I just mixed it in when I rolled out the dough. They turned out awesome! Although a little miss shapened (which apparently isn't a real word but I am going to use it anyway.)

He was excited and actually ate 1/2 of one. Which is huge for him because well he will tell you he hates cookies other than oreos but who doesn't love oreos.

He had a blast and loved every moment of it, other then the few times he got flour on himself and he had to run to the bathroom to wash his hands (we have a sink in the kitchen but he has to wash his hands in the bathroom).

I know these things seem like normal everyday things but for a mom with a child who has ASD they are huge. Will it happen again, who knows but at least we have one memory of making cookies together.

And this afternoon we will taking our pumpkins to the animal farm because the animals there love them and I need out for a little bit! 

Me

Somewhere at some point in the past year and a bit I have lost my whole heart. I have lost every inch of joy. I went from getting up early and walking 10km a day, going for lunch, loving life and everything in it, to "this". I am not even sure what "this" is. I have no desire to even get out of bed in the mornings.

Yes fibro is part of it, but I have struggled with that my whole life, even with the first brain injury I was still excited for life.

Now I can't get out of bed in the morning and even leaving the house is almost impossible. My body feels weird all the time kinda like its there but not really, shaky like I am having a hypoglycemic episode.

I had given up! I haven't found my mojo just yet but today I did something I have never ever done in my life, I took a yoga class and did it ALONE!!! no best friend by my side because she is really sick. Jess is my go to, she is the one that I feel safe with since my brain injury. She always goes with me when I need her to.

I had contacted two yoga places in Sarnia and decided to go with "My Yoga Sarnia" I was supposed to start before Christmas but didn't get a chance to. She knows about my brain injury and was happy to have me in class. I have never taken a yoga class before, I always taught stretch yoga at the end of a kickboxing class but thats about it.

I get to class today and I am unsure, normally this is where I would chicken out and not even go in the building but something in me today didn't even think about that. I get inside and there are women and even 1 man all on yoga mats the instructor introduces me they all smile and say high. Its people my age and older all different body types!!! Even the instructor doesn't have the "perfect" yoga body that everyone thinks of which is great! I love instructors who are real! Not what I had pictured in my mind lol.

I am on the floor the lights get turned off soft mediation music is playing, there are white Christmas lights offering a pale light in the room.We are in a circle on our mats and we start today we are focusing on our ankles and hips. oh wonderful is my thought process when we get to the left side because of the nerve damage I can't feel my left foot other than serve pain. Well I get it going and I am not doing to bad. We finish up with a sharka cleanse and that is it. No standing on my head with ankles behind my shoulders, gentle yoga!

I am dizzy after class and still dizzy a few hours later but I don't feel as heavy as I did, I can take a full breath in!!!

In class as I am learning to focus on my body and not allow my mind to wonder to other things (harder than one might think) I learned that I am always holding my body tense, I can't relax it, well thats because as soon as I do the fibro spasms are horrible and I always worry if others can see or even notice it. Well in class I did my best to allow the spasms to happen so I could relax enough to release all the horrible crap I have been hanging on to.

I feel better, not 100% yet but I will go back on Tuesday and Thursday next week. I know the full answer isn't yoga that I have to deal with the crap in my life that made me feel this way in the first place, but today I feel better about me, I feel lighter and I didn't feel judged at all in class!

The feel in that class room today was peace, acceptance and patience. It is a wonderful atmosphere and that is half the battle when teaching a group class.

Slacking Christmas edition!!

Between Lexi being sick, dying and Christmas (7 of them to be exact) I have been slacking to say the least on, well, EVERYTHING.

When you have a disease such as Fibromyalgia doing day to day tasks can be draining but add on everything else this time of year and losing a foster baby it makes things even worse.

I know excuses, poor pity me well, no that's not why I am writing this post. There is a few reasons and none of which is poor pity me.

Millions of people all around the world suffer from chronic diseases (Fibro is just one of them) and the holidays are extra hard requiring more recovery time afterwords. I know its hard for someone outside looking in to understand, but those who have someone close to them battling daily need to keep this in mind when expecting them to just get over it and push forward. Let them sleep, rest, do nothing, even help them with that and other daily tasks that need done during this recovery period. Do your best not to judge, criticize or belittle! They are fighting a battle that they hope you will never have to experience.
To those going through it just remember you will get through it, just like last time, and just like the next time. You are important, loved, needed and YOU GOT THIS!!!

I slacked on Christmas this year big time. I suffered an injury that I still haven't recovered from a week before Christmas due to an altercation with a young women at the police station. My right wrist, elbow and shoulder were dislocated and currently my elbow is still out of place and cannot be put back until the swelling comes down, so the baking didn't get done and the orders didn't get out as fast as they normally do.

This year I did the bare minimal for decorating as in the tree went up and the kids decorated it. The presents got wrapped minus the fancy ribbons, bows and Santa Sleighs. The only baking that got done were a few cookies and the pies that had to be done for the dinners. The kindness isn't finished yet but it will get done and I figure after the holidays is when people could use the uplift the most. We made gingerbread houses but they were not from scratch.

Limited school based learning got done. I wont say limited homeschooling because over this holiday season Blaine learned a lot!

Normally I would say I will do better next year, not going to say that this year because I can't say I wont have a foster die next Christmas, I can't say something wont happen to cause slacking again.

What I can say tho is no one noticed. The kids didn't care that the gingerbread came from a box, or the house and yard wasn't decorated to the nines. No one at the 7 Christmas's cared that my bake trays were lacking or the presents didn't have fancy bows or Santa Sleighs.

There was something this Christmas that made my heart sing. I watched my dad play with my son (tears as I write this). My dad and I had a tough relationship and he wasn't a huge part of my life growing up. I have some memories of some good things but not a whole lot (the brain injuries took many of my memories away and in some cases its a good thing and in others it sucks), Christmas at my grandmothers triggered a memory of building go carts together and racing them. My dad bought my son these race cars that smash into each other. My dad and him had a blast playing with them, I watched my dad smile and laugh and my son call him "My grandpa" all day, "my grandpa come play, my grandpa watch this" I watched my dad light up in a way I haven't seen since I was very very young (under 7).  On the way home my son kept asking when he can see "my grandpa" over and over. A feeling of pride, love and happiness that my dad gets to have this time with him and wants to have this time with him was beyond words.

Eating off the floor

Washing the walls today and looking at ALL the toys my child has, which is a lot but when it comes to having other kids here its never enough. I start to think about my childhood growing up we were never allowed to have toys outside our bedrooms, when we had a toy room they were never allowed outside the toy room. We were always sent away to “go play”, I don't have a single memory of my mom actually getting down and playing with me, nor my grandmother who raised me. Adults didn't play! My dad would build things with me like go carts and other things out of wood, but that was teaching me how to use tools properly. I heard a quote and I love it, going back to the way we were raised the way things were “back then”, “We now know better so we must do better”. We know that children do better with adult interaction and play. My son will have millions of memories of us playing together be it at the play ground racing down the slides side by side or in the living room with ALL the toys pulled out around us racing cars. He will have memories of bringing toys to the kitchen table so we can play together while I work. Blaine will not have memories of being “sent away to play”. Does he go and play by himself, of course hes an only child he plays by himself all the time but not hidden away because god forbid someone come over and see his toy mess.

The kitchen is the only room that no toys, dogs and limited children are allowed that is also the room that is spotless cleaned almost daily, this isn't because I am anal about a clean cooking kitchen this is because I bake for people in there and I have seen the inside of restaurant (insert vomit gagging noises) my standards for a kitchen and my house are far higher than that.
My house used to be spotless and at one time I made the kids keep their toys either outside or downstairs, did I play with them kind of but not really. Did I send them to go play, yes, do I now know better, understand better and have been and will do better, YES!

I really dislike when people say, well I was raised this way so its good enough for my kids, we didn't know the things then that we do today. Yes somethings I still do like LOTS of playing outside, exploring and discovering everything and learning by doing as long as its not going seriously hurt anyone. The difference is I am doing it with him hes not alone, he is not left to figure out life and comfort himself when he falls. Knowledge is power and that is true when it comes to children as well.

There are days when I miss a spotless house where you could eat off the floors and when you walked in you smelled bleach and pinesol but today I know better so I do better. We use no chemicals in cleaning, which means Blaine can actually help me with cleaning and he enjoys it. Growing up in the 80's and having a mother who was OCD clean, the smell of bleach and pinesol meant it was clean, today we know these chemicals hurt the earth, people and animals. It is still a struggle not to just pull my bucket out get on my hands and knees and scrub the crap out of everything with these cleaners.

In our brains we create pathways, smells, actions etc cause us to go down these pathways it takes a lot of strength and determination to force your brain to create new paths. Mine is changing the way I think about clean and cleaning. 

My home is tidy, clean (not spotless) and filled with love, fun, and memories. I don't want my son to grow up to appreciate a clean house more than the people in it, that used to be me. So I spend about 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins at night cleaning up the house, I wash floors and walls about once a week give or take and I LIVE, LOVE and be HAPPY.

I don't judge those with untidy homes or spotless homes (might be a little envious at times)

Please note: there is a difference between a clean and tidy home, a spotless home, and dirty home, a child growing up in filth is not okay it can cause serious health, mental health and physical issues.

Its a hard thing to do, stopping feeling guilty about how clean the house, stopping comparing everyone else spotless home to mine, its even harder to not listen to those especially family who believe a spotless home is the upmost importance. Life is more important than eating off the floors besides the dogs will get it first!!!

Bucket List

Only old people make bucket list right? and only because they didn't get to do enough exciting things in their younger days right?

Wrong! I created a bucket list a few actually. One for spring/summer, one for fall/winter of things I want to do and things I want to do with my son.

I created a huge bucket list of things I want to do before I can't enjoy them as much as I would now. A couple things have already been crossed off and I plan to do so many a year. After I empty my bucket I plan on refilling it with more exciting things to do.

Here is my bucket list



Shoot guns. We have a local outdoor gun range I just need to book a date.

Go to the a drive in movie. There a drive in place not to far from here I just have never been.

Go to PEI. I love our coasts and this has always been a dream of mine to travel Canada.

Spend Canada Day in Ottawa. Who wouldn't want to party in their country's capital on its birthday.

Go to Vancouver. Of course another one of our beautiful coasts that must be seen in person.

Visit Salem which house. These places are said to contain the spirits of those pasted and you can feel their energy.

Scotland. I think this would be on the bucket list of most who would want to travel.

Greece. My oldest son goes here every summer and spends a few weeks. I want to travel there not because he does but because I want to see the ruins of the gods.

Travel on a plane. Yes I have never been on a plane, it has to do with fear of heights, yes I know I have to travel by plane to many of the places I want to visit.

Kiss under mistletoe. I know, I know who lives under a rock and hasn't done this yet, well surprise I haven't :)

Pin up photo shoot done. These have always looked like so much fun and I love the way they dress.

Waltz. The dance that makes you feel like a princess, as long as you don't have 2 left feet.

Experience Zero Gravity. Its like being in space without leaving earth!

Swim with dolphins. No not the kind you go south and pay to swim in a tank with them, I think that's cruel. I want to swim with wild ones and just be near them.

Chocolate Festival In Burges. OMG chocolate!!!!

Rebuild my dream car. This has been a dream since I was small and working on cars with my dad. I want to find the car of my dreams in some dudes barn and do all the work on it.

Northern Lights. The beauty that is beyond words.

Red sand beach. This I have to see!

Hold a Monkey. No not at a zoo but at a wild life sanctuary I promise not to put it in my packet and bring it home!

Kissing Photo is a Photo Booth. I have never even done a photo booth because I always thought they were corny.

Grow my nails. This is a work in progress. I  stopped biting my nails a year a go, ya me, so they grow not but they just break off so easy :(

Volunteer at a wild life reserve. I may never come home from this one.

Backpacking. I want to backpack across a country, just small country though

Make my own cookbook. This one I am on the fence about I want to so my family recipes don't just stop with me. My sister doesn't cook much and she is not a baker so I guess the cookbook is the way to go.

Kiss under a waterfall. No not just a big fountain a real waterfall, which Canada has many of.

Hold a Kola. Not one that is at the zoo, again cruel. One in a wild life sanctuary or reserve.

Message in a bottle. This I should just do. I do live on a river after all! but at the same time is it considered littering? would it hurt the aquatic life?

Visit Wonka land. OMG CHOCOLATE, and who knows maybe they have umpa lumpas...I wonder if they are shorter than me.

Be shut up with a kiss. I don't understand why this one hasn't happened yet. I talk enough it should of. SIGH

Carve something into a tree. This I will do on my next hike up north. As long as I don't forget

Murder Mystery Train. This is something my best friend and I want to do together!

West Coast Trail in BC. I know I will never get to hike the entire thing but I would love to at least hike a few days on it.

Hike the Bruce trail. I have hiked parts of this trail and doubt I will get to hike the whole thing but I would like to hike more than what I have of it.

East Coast Trail in Newfoundland. This trail right here will be my starting point for hiking over night trails!

Hike the skyline trail in Alberta. This is where I will get to see my northern lights

Visit Baniff National Park. Because who wouldn't want to.

Drive a motorcycle. no not ride on the back I have done that since I was young. I know this may never happen because holding up a bike isn't an easy task but I can dream :)

Sleep in a hammock Dear god these things scared the crap out of me as a child and still kind of do as an adult, its a falling thing.

Visit Duffs. Duff is my cake idol. He is my mentor and who I love. He is a cake genius

Hug a penguin Now here is my problem with this. I am not traveling to the antarctic to hug one so I might have to do this at a zoo :(

Drive a race car. I actually just found out that near me is a race track that offers this!!!

Professional Make over. I don't wear make up ever. but I want to have a day where someone does my hair, make up and picks the perfect outfit for me. No idea how this would ever come to be though

Rock Climbing. Yes the girl who is so scared of heights wont even stand on a chair. In grade 8 we went rock climbing. I chickened out part way up and couldn't do it. I regret that want to give it ago again.

Sleep in an igloo. Yes this is a thing and I think it would be so cool.

Learn to Dance. I can dance, well if you call it that but I want to learn to dance properly like 2 step or something lol



Paint slip and slide. Yes we are doing this, this summer with the kids its going to be amazing!!

Have abs. even if its just one lol

Explore caves. There are caves in Alberta that I would love to explore.

Ride a horse on a beach. I rode a horse for the first time last year with a girl friend of mine, It was amazing. Now I want to do it on a beach.

Penny Date. First, make sure you have a date and a penny. Then, get in the car. Tell your date to pick a number between 1 and 20: Whatever number they pick is the number of turns you have to take. Flip the penny; heads equals a right turn and tails equals a left.

Tree Camping. This looks amazing.

Hike the Canadian Rockies. Not the whole Rockies just like the lower parts :)

Ireland. This is actually going to happen sooner rather than later with my best friend!

Travel on a train. I have never traveled on a train before and I think it would be a great way to see Canadian.

Compete in Muderlla. This her scares the crap out of me. I need to be in better shape than I am at the moment endurance wise anyway. I am hoping to compete next year.

Date Jar. You put 52 dates in a jar pull one weekly and go on it.

Islands of England. The beauty is all I have to say about that.

Breakfast with Zebras. This will happen at the wild life reserve.

Take a photo everyday for a year. I tried to start this year, but didn't keep up with it, oh well next year.

Kiss on top of a fariswheel. I don't do heights so this one here is important to me.

Most of the things on my bucket list are things that scare the daylights out of me. I want to push myself to come out of my comfort zone and live life to the fullest.

Whats in your bucket?

I'm back, back again!

Reintroduction

I am back after a very long hiatus. My decision to return was brought on by how much is going on in my life; good and bad. I need an outlet for my thoughts and everything else going on.

I am now 31 years old soon to be 32, normally I would say something along the lines here of “oh where has the time gone” or “I am so old”, but I am not going to because I don't feel that way at all. At this point in my life I am happy, happy with me, my life, the way things are going and everything else.

Being the proud mom of 2 amazing boys is quite the adventure. My oldest son will be 8 this year, crazy this adoptive parents are amazing have raised thus far the most kind and giving little boy. My youngest will be 3 this Aug. He is strong willed, confident and independent to a fault. Apparently he is just like his mother, I wouldn't have a clue about that one!

Stopping fostering dogs for a while was one of the hardest things I had to do, sadly Ace is aging. He has no tolerance for pups and barely puts up with bossco. We went on a 12KM hike and for almost 2 weeks after he could barely walk, I felt like the worst dog mom ever. Until he is ready to cross the rainbow bridge my efforts with rescue will have to be through volunteering and helping in any other way they could possibly need. Both dogs adore Blaine most days, they act like brothers.

The decision to close the cake business came when the pain in my shoulder no longer allowed me to even roll fondant anymore. Oh how I miss the creations and wonderful cakes but I just couldn't keep up anymore. I still do them for friends, family and the Sarnia Humane Society but that's about it.

M&B Creative Creations has taken on a life of its own, my goodness has it become crazy busy but I love every minute of it. Creating items that people are shocked by and think are just perfect. Seeing the little and big ones in the outfits we made just warms my heart. Within the business we are able to help many in need with donations and support.

My body is still and likely will always be a hard thing for me to deal with. I still teach cardio kickboxing but its free classes. I struggle daily with food and the way I look.

Over the past month or so I have started my own self recovery which I will explain in other posts. Its exciting and like a weights been lifted.

I look forwarding to giving you all the details and such from over the past little while!!!!