Pink Shirt Day

Its a Canadian thing!

I would say of course it is, because on the world scale we are a kind people, but those who live in this country can attest that we have our fair share of unkind people.

Compared to our southern neighbours I feel we are more accepting of others, however tolerance starts at home and so does bullying!

In 2007 two students in Canada came up with Pink Shirt Day as an Anti-bullying day after homophobic children threatened and bullied boys for wearing pink.

It is now celebrated around the world!

In our home we teach blindness, blind to race, gender, ethnics, or sexual preference. We teach this not to be blind of their struggles but to love them for who they are. We teach to stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves to ALWAYS say something.

I am a strong believer that those who say nothing are just as bad as those doing the bullying, even if you say nothing to the bullies you can say something to a teacher, a parent or another adult.

I find it is harder to teach this to children who come from homes where hurtful words, hitting and yelling are the go to when you are mad or don't get what you want. Young children don't understand the impact of their words but adults do. This means it is in adult hands to teach that is kindness and what isn't by being a example!

In our house, when a child is being hurtful my response is "Stop, ask yourself, is what I am doing kind?" if the answer is no then stop what you are doing and walk away.

It is never okay to hurt someone else either by words or by hands on. Slowly the girls are learning that it's not okay but its going to take a long time to help them to learn the proper tools.

In society with a president who is a bully on a world scale it is harder to teach children that they don't get what they want by bullying when that is what he did to get himself where he is and what we see in media on a daily basis. I am grateful that despite what some Canadians think our prime minister believes and uses his words and discussions to defuse situations instead of instantly going to bully mode.

Parents who bully their children at home to get them to do what they want them to do. Such as threats, yelling, hitting, etc only teach children that this is the normal and only way to get what they need done.

This isn't the case, you can get more of what you need by using kindness and I hope that even with the girls here and struggling with learning kindness to each other that Blaine keeps his kindness. Keeps his always inviting others to play and if they don't want to play, that's okay! Here I can share my toys and you are welcome to play when your ready.

We don't need to lead with a heavy hand!

Yes I believe that on a world scale with leaders of other countries are hurting their people, and we have done talking and trying. Then we need to use a heavy hand but all other options need to exhausted first!

Children mimic what they see. If they see me inviting others to play, to join, using kind words, giving to those in need then with time they do the same thing.

Our children deserve our kindness!

Those children who are bullies deserve our kindness as a first response.

Did you wear pink on pink shirt day? We all did here. I made the girls shirts when I made my client order shirts so they could wear them to school.

Do you believe in kindness as the first response? What is your opinion?

killing with kindness

Enabling kills and you will kill them.

Choosing between killing yourself watching them or burying them before they have a chance to know peace is never easy.

We tell ourselves that we are protecting them, that this time our love will be enough. We tell ourselves that love can fix anything. No, no it can't, I don't know who invented that phrase but apparently they never met an addict. Unless maybe they were talking about self love, but I doubt that.

Your actions will kill them. You not allowing them to ever hit rock bottom, you not ever letting them fall and struggle to get back up. You not allowing them see how strong they really are and how worth it they really are, isn't showing them love at all.

We all do it, we lie for them, cover for them and protect them from anything that might trigger a bad reaction or them to plunge head first into their addictions. We live in a world where we walk on egg shells to try and prevent those triggers, here is the thing though, those triggers are going to happen no matter what we do.

When we prevent the addict from falling, when we prevent them from hitting that rock bottom we cause that bottom to get further away from them. The longer we stay under them, the longer it will take them to find their rock bottom and hopefully their own recovery.

We can be kind but not a door mat, we can be kind but the not peace keeper, we can be kind but not the buffer, and we can be kind but not in control.

Somehow, somewhere we confused kindness with permissiveness and self sacrifice Kindness doesn't mean protect them, it doesn't mean prevent bad things from happening to them, it doesn't mean "light ourselves on fire to warm them". What kindness means is listening, understanding, being there when they are ready, living our lives and allowing them to hit rock bottom before they die.

The thing is this type of kindness we have on the day to day for the addict will not only kill them but ourselves too and in the end they still wont be clean or sober and we will be just as broken as them or worse.

Show them kindness by going to meetings and invite them along, invite them to events etc, show them kindness by healing yourself so your strong enough when they are ready for the changes the will come (let me tell it is no picnic and sometimes you will think things were better before they got clean/sober), show them kindness by creating safe boundaries for you and your family, and show them kindness by allowing natural consequences to run their course.

You are going to want to fix everything and make it better, you are going to want to protect them, you are going to want to do all kinds of things for them, but this isn't kindness to an addict. To an addict this type of kindness is a reason for them to keep doing what they are doing, it is a reason for them to keep acting and treating people the way they always have, this kindness will kill them!

Yes, the real kindness is going to upset the apple cart, yes it is going to make them mad, it is going to make a lot of things happen. Make sure you are safe at all times, remember your safety and the safety of your family comes first if you are ever in danger call 911 right away.

The real kindness is going to lead down a scary road that is going to force you to stop focusing on them and their issues and start focusing on yours!

You got this! You are strong! Don't kill yourself or them with kindness!!!

Open Adoption

Real Life Talk

A few weeks ago someone tried to use Owens adoption against me, it didn't work. Judgment comes in all forms when you choose adoption for your child, be it harsh and mean or unintentional but it comes from people who either are uneducated about adoption or just try and get under your skin. I try to use these moments to educate people instead of getting angry and upset.

In my situation adoption was the best thing I could have ever done for my son. At 6 months pregnant I decided open adoption was my best route for him. The bio dad was with a women who was threatening to kill my son and myself and she was pregnant herself. We almost lost the house. I was not in a state were I could provide a financial or stable home for him. I contacted Beginnings adoption agency who were amazing.

I sifted through profile after profile of amazing families but one really stuck out. They were like me, the adoptive father had a childhood kind of like mine. They had tried for 10 years to have children of their own and waited on the adoption list for half that time. They kept getting over looked because of the adoptive fathers childhood. I met with them and fell in love with both of them. They were the perfect match!

But they had been down this road before with a little baby girl and the mom changed her mind. I told them to please set up the nursery it would make me feel better to see that he had his own space. They did, we talked all the time and met a few times for before I gave birth to Owen.

My pregnancy and childbirth with Owen was hard. I had chronic kidney infections and was on antibiotics the whole time. I went into kidney failure at one point. I had toxemia. I spent most of my time on "bed rest". My water broke a month before I actually gave birth, the doctor said I must have peed myself.

I was induced at 6pm on Nov 25th 2009, I started what I had been dealing for a month and just walked it off. Nurse came in and it turns out those pains I just walked off for a month were active labour pains and I was moved into the delivery room. Where for the next 24 hours I was sick and kept telling them something was wrong. My OB came in at points checked me with zero progress I never dilated at ALL and then he broke my waters at some point. This was funny, well for me anyway. He said your gonna feel a gush, he broke my waters and NOTHING happened. I said TOLD YOU I DIDN'T PEE MY SELF!. he looked shocked and left. After more time passed he came back in and freaked out on the nurses that he wasn't called in sooner, I was in and out of consciousness, I was sick and kept saying something was wrong but they just kept telling it was my first and I didn't know what I was talking about.

They rush me into an operating room, I watching the monitors and I was watching my sons heart rate drop to 0 I ask what that means and pass out. My mom and Richard are taken the baby, no bracelets no idea where I am or what is going on, no idea what to do with the baby.

Hours pass before I am brought to a room, no one was told anything not even about what happened while I was gone for hours. The nurse checks my incision, its open. They call the OB in. He says the staple gun malfunctioned and in all his years he has never seen that happen. So they tape me up, I am allergic to tape and adhesive but have no other choices. The catheter is causing burning pain, the nurse has trouble removing it, turns out they used a latex one even after I asked before they put it to make sure it wasn't latex.

My stay was horrible. I wasn't allowed visitors because of H1N1 the hospital was on lock down so I spent most of my time alone. 

My night nurse didn't agree with my adoption plan and with held my pains meds and because of my allergies all I could have was T3's so it wasn't like they did much at all.

The counselor at the hospital had no idea about adoption or anything like that and made things worse.

The amazing lady that worked with me through beginnings put in complaints about my care and treatment to the hospital and I hope that doing that made changes for future moms who choose adoption.

The choice for adoption isn't easy and I went back and forth the whole time at the hospital. I decided at one point I couldn't do it. The adoptive parents only response was "Can we will be apart of your life" That question, that moment made the decision for me. They were the best choice, They came up and seen me and the baby. They were not allowed to bring me flowers or a card because in Canada it is seen as paying for the baby and that is illegal.

The day of the adoption ceremony, the moment the adoptive parents had waited so many years for came. In the photos you can see how happy they are and it makes my heart smile. I look like walking dead.

I told Richard that if it felt like I was forgetting something then I couldn't go through with it but when I left the hospital with my bags I didn't feel that way at all. Yes I felt broken, but I felt a peace for him and them.

A week or two after I had Owen I went down to see them, I had to see that he was okay. They messaged every day and I loved them for it!

My son is with the BEST family anyone could ever want, they support him no matter his choices, he travels, plays sports and just has so much love around him.

Over the years seeing him grow and learn and watching him become the young man I wished him to be makes me grateful that I had the opportunity to help a couple become an amazing family!

When people try to use my sons adoption to hurt me it doesn't work because I know my son is in the best possible place!!!

Loving an addict

Every time you hear sirens you hope it isn't for them. In your heart you will never stop loving them but its time they stop hitting you instead of their rock bottom.

You start to believe the lies they tell you daily about yourself. You start to believe their really are people out to get him, hiding in closets and the backyard, staring at him from the streets, cars driving by over and over and the noises.

Forgive more times than you can count, give more chances than you can remember. You protect them, do everything you can build them up, do everything in your power and make them happy, make sure there would be no reason for them to want that high, or act that way.

You walk on egg shells, stop talking to people either because he thinks there is stuff going on or because it is just easier than trying to hide the fact there is a problem.

Loving them is killing you, eating your soul. You stand up and fight back, your the bad guy. You allow them to fall and it all becomes your fault.

Drugs don't only steal their minds but their bodies as well, they are a shell inside and out of the man you once knew. You don't recognize them or even yourself anymore.

You don't do drugs or drink or even have fun for fear something might upset the apple cart. You don't do drugs but they are ruining you not only the addict, inside and out for you too.

You too need recovery and just like for them that doesn't mean just quitting the drugs, that means getting help for you. That means focusing on you, for once! It doesn't mean leaving them I know we all fear what will happen if you abandon them. But what happened when we abandoned ourselves?

Watching the man you love fall is the hardest, most stomaching sickening thing you will ever do, standing back and hoping this time it will be their rock bottom, hoping this time they will get clean, hoping this time will be it. You start living for the good days, then the good days become only good moments and you hang onto those moments for dear life.

You question what you did or what happened to cause the days or moments to change so drastically.

Being angry at them, nope you love them too much to be angry, you know they are sick, your heart aches and breaks for them. Watching them destroy everything that they had and staying hands off knowing that even if they do get and stay clean this time it is going to be a long hard road that they have to travel, you will travel along side of course and it will kill you and you will want to make it all go away but they have to feel this, ALL of it so they that being clean means something to them, that those memories of what it takes to get clean are enough to make them never want to travel down that road again.

You pray for the hard road, you pray that they get to travel down this road unlike so many who die without never knowing they are worth being clean, they are worth a better life.

Loving the addict will kill you if you allow it to, loving the addict who is living an addicted life will break you down, make you feel like nothing and when you try to even get a leg up they tare you down. Not because they are heartless, not because they are mean but because they feel so low about themselves they think everyone should feel the same.


You are allowed to be broken, you are allowed to care, you care allowed to love. You are not allowed to show it!!!


Enabling an addict will kill them! 

You can make a difference everyday!

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/wonderful

I don't care if there was sex stuff found in her journals or not, she is a women of wonderful inspiration, wisdom and hope!

I have now written this quote on card stock and placed it on the wall and each day I write on it how I have started to improve the world, even by one single act!

Every day we wake up we have the chance to make a difference in the world and in the lives of others, even from our tiny place in this giant world.

Rich or poor, living large or just getting by we each have the power of change at our finger tips!

I HATE the words "I am just one person", "You are only one person" well if every person said that nothing would ever get done, nothing would ever change and we would all be where we were when we lived in caved!

Yes you are one person, but one person can change the world I promise you that and history has shown that over and over and over again!!!!

How you can make a difference for someone else!
-Smile
-Say hello
-Hold a door
-Share a snack
-Listen
-Buy a coffee
-Offer a helping hand
-Give a hug

How you can make a difference for the world!
-Recycle
-Vote
-Pick up trash on walks, while fishing, at the park
-Grow a garden
-Plant a tree
-Help with projects that support the enviroment
-Volunteer
-Reduce Waste
-Compost
-Write your local government representative on causes that you are passionate about
-Spay/Neuter


YOU, that one single person can do simple things to change the world, so get your arse in gear and go hold a door.

Today I made a change! Today I am using a Brita filter jug and a Brita reusable bottle instead of water bottles. This is a HUGE change for me. Yes I double filter my water. Until a week ago I went through 24 bottles of water a week, yes I recycled them but even with doing that it was still creating waste and pressure on the world. Just this full week I have saved 24 water bottles from going to land fill. I HATE tap water, wouldn't even use it to brush my teeth, double filtering it for me has allowed me to reduce waste, make a difference (even a tiny dent) in the world and still drink water that doesn't taste like ass or smell like chlorine.

One person doing something simple to make a big difference in the world!

What is your change today?

2018 a year in rescue!

I figured I might as well do this now as Gus will likely be the last foster of this year that crosses my doorway. I whole heartly believe every dog enters my life for a reason.

Christy!!!

Christy was an owner surrender and my first foster in a long time. She was sweet, smart, full of life and energy! Her and Blaine were quite the pair getting into EVERYTHING all the time lol. She came into my life to remind me that I still needed to this, I still need to open my heart and door those animals that were not longer wanted by their families. Christy reopened my heart, my home and showed me Blaine need this too!


Heart break comes like tea in the morning to those in rescue.

Donny and Cherry came to me so broken that Donny was only with us for a day. Cherry was with us until it was her time. These two tiny spirits showed me that I am strong enough to do this again. That I am strong enough to love them until they don't need me anymore. Strong enough to get through anything, including losing two sweet souls who only knew peace and love a short time but will never be alone alone again.






In December I lost my world, my heart dog, the boy who had been with me through everything! I swore I would never love a dog in the same again and its true I wont!

Lexi the Cat Dog who has so many face wrinkles she looks liek the stuffed toy "wrinkles" I had as a kid. EVERYONE suited up in their capes for this one. She came in a hurry and with her she stole my heart. She is tiny compared to what I am used to that is for sure but only in stature not in muscle, heart of brains. Lexi LOVES Blaine. She has stolen a place in my heart I didn't think I had left after losing ACE, she has shown me a I can love in a similar way again. No dog will ever replace Ace, but she sure is trying on his shoes. Lexi is still here and I haven't fully decided what I am going to do about her. She is a perfect dog minus having to have her lady bits washed 3-4 times a day, special stuff on her food and leaking when she sleeps. All because her lady bits are hanging out far further than what they should be. Poor sweet pie, but even with those issues she is still loved.


As most people will tell you, when it comes to animals I don't think I just react. Which is how I ended up with 8 fosters, pregnant and Richard working in Alberta lol.

Yes that is a dog in a field. You might not be able to see him but he was there. Gus was a post in a group that I was tagged in so of course I loaded up and went to get him. I will have a post about just him so I wont go into too much detail about his story here. Gus came into my to teach me patience and to show me that I still will never give up on an animal no matter how unhappy they are in that moment with me. To show me that waiting is just the beginning of the rainbow!!!


Every rescue teaches us something new, shows us something we didn't know was within us. From your heart breaking for those you saved past and what they have been though to your heart breaking once again to see them off to their forever home everyone in rescue knows by best that our hearts are our strongest muscle and will always heal despite the scars.


Those in rescue remember you are needed, you are loved and no matter how hard the day, week, month YOU have made a difference! YOU are making a difference!!

Bossco update July 2017

Bossco also known as Butthead in our house and it is said in the most loving way. He is smart, huge, hairy and full of energy.

Being an akita/shepherd he is triple coated, long haired and beyond smart. He knows many commands and I have barely had a chance to work with him one on one. He is an odd dog though loves other dogs but not a fan of people. He is scared of most men and will bark and growl. He is laid back but at the same time on edge. Bossco loves being outside, going for walks and hikes. Hes not a big cuddlier by any means but wants to be near you at all times.

Protector of the house and children, my goodness this dog will protect us no matter what it seems which is good and bad. He barks at everyone who walks by or comes near the house, which is a good thing because that is what a dog is supposed to do and he has even scared off a feel people from stealing things from our cars at night.

Prey drive in both of his breeds is really high, and he has it! He will catch any small animal that moves. Ace has taught him to a very good hunter. Food driven is not the word for it lol. Before I had Blaine I could leave a whole pizza on the table and neither him nor Ace would touch it. Fast forward to Blaine eating food and now they eat everything. You can't leave it for a second, once Blaine learns not to share his food with the dogs they will be retrained not to touch our food. I lost half a sandwich today to bossco because I forgot to put it up.....sigh he didn't even eat anything but the bread.

He is great with Blaine and just likes to chill but is always on alert for sounds or anything happening. He loves to play, him and Blaine chase each other and have a blast. They are quite the pair together.

He is only 4 so he has lots of years and life left in him which is awesome, him and Blaine can grow up together being the pair that they are.

He likes water although I haven't taken him to a beach before, I am thinking this summer I would like to. It is hard to take only him but Ace hates water and freaks out whenever we are in it.

Bossco is a "nanny dog" whenever Blaine has no clothes on he must "groom" him. It is how we are getting through potty training with keeping his clothes on him, Blaine hates it when bossco licks his butt. When we first started if Blaine had an accident bossoc would "clean it up" soooo gross I would go and get cleaning stuff come back and mess gone. My stomach turns at the though. YUCK!!!

Let me see all your fur babies in the comments!!!

Ace July 2017 update

Moo Moo or resident asshole as he is lovely called, is now 7 years old and my heart. I can't explain it. I love every foster that comes through, I love every dog we adopt but Ace I just love differently. He hikes with me, he knows all my moods, when something is wrong, when I need something, when I get confused and lost, he has just become my soul.

We went for our first big hike this year and afterwords I felt like the worst doggy mom in the world. It was a 12KM beautiful hike and he was having the time of his life, showing no signs of pain or anything else. Towards the end of the hike, I was lost and wondering for about 2 hours pretending I wasn't lost, attempting to find my way back to the truck. Well after 2 hours of wondering I finally said to Ace find the truck I put all my trust into him before I had to call the park rangers to come find us. I let go of his leash and followed him, within 45 minutes he led me back to the truck.

Ace is trail trained this means he knows all of my cues without me saying a word. He knows he has to stop on top of hills or inclines and wait for me and the same for declines. He knows when I need to take a break, he never pulls even once on the trails. Ace understands right and left commands, "hup" command which means up onto whatever is in front of him. He knows how to check puddles for which ones I need to go around. I am pretty sure I will never, ever own a dog like him again.

You can say its all about training, etc, etc. Its not just that, not all dogs can sense issues, not all dogs do trails well or are as willing to learn trails. Our bond is something that is just indescribable.

After our trail hike he was acting funny in the truck so I was getting him to lay down but every few minutes he was back up again moving around on the seat and then would settle for a few minutes and repeat. We stopped to visit my grandmother and he couldn't get out of the truck, I helped him down the best I could and watched him walk, he was limping very badly. He didn't fall or trip or anything on the trail. All the way home he was acting funny, at home I had to get help to get him out of the truck he could barely stand. This was a Saturday, I decided to give him rest and no walks for a few days and see how he was if he wasn't okay still I would call the vet.

I took to my other rescue friends and akita/husky owners to see what they thought, to see if their dogs had any similar issues. I was suggested glucosamine for hip care, well getting Ace to take any sort of pills is near impossible he always knows and wont eat the pill. I went into Pet Food Ware House here in town to see if I could get treats with it in them, yes I could but they gave something that might work better as it was concentrated. You just put it on their food twice a day. So I decided that I would do the same for Bossco as he is a big big boy and just better safe than sorry.

Normally when I leave without Ace he yelps and cries for a few minutes until I leave the driveway. For 2 weeks he came to the door but didn't make a sound. It broke my heart to know he was hurting. By week 3 he was yelping to come with me, getting up on the bed and couch with no issues, even licking the left over bits off the kitchen table. Week 4 he has started to play with Bossco again and run and chase the birds in the back yard. He has thankfully come back.

Ace still favours the one side often or if he gets doing to much and we have only been on one walk since and it was hard on him. Unfortunately he is getting older for his breeds, I didn't want to believe it not for a second and when I finally came to terms that my MOO, my world, my best friend wouldn't be here forever it broke me and broke my heart. I turned to the women in rescue who knew exactly what I meant when I explained my love for Ace being different than my love for the others. They told stories of their "heart dogs" and how no dog would ever place them.

I will do everything I can for Ace, but I will never ever force him to live in pain and suffering. I would never want him to live a life that he couldn't live to the fullest. Moo Moo being the way he is, high energy, active and go, go, go he gets depressed when he can't for whatever reason and if one day it becomes like that for him I will hold him as he crosses over the rainbow bridge. I will not keep him alive for selfish reason, I will not force him to endure because I don't want to hurt, or I will miss him. I will do what is best for him and only him.

My heart dog is Ace and I couldn't imagine my life without him, but for his sake one day I will have to decide that is best for him and not what is easier or more comfortable for me.

A lot of people say that you can not love an animal the way you do people, or that when you have children you will replace your dogs. Not for me, never for me, my dogs are my children even if they are only fostered for a short time. Each one deserves the same respect and love that I give my children. Do I love my kids without a second thought, but I love my dogs in the exact same way.

New moms sometimes fear their child getting hurt, dying or kidnapped, dog moms have the same fears. Fears the collar will slip while out on a walk, trying to chase a bird and they get hit by a car, or get lost and you have to search for them. It is the same fears a mom of a human child has, it is the same love, compassion and commitment to their well being as moms of human children. I know I will catch flack for this and I do on a daily basis in the mom group and that's okay. I believe those people have no idea what real unconditional love it. The love of an animal is just as the love of a child.


Give your fur babies an extra squeeze tonight, hold them a little longer for they are not here forever.