As most of you know I run a small business and have for many years and before that I ran a bakery that was so popular that even 4 years closing it fully I still get messages to make cakes. (Which is just fine by me because I still enjoy doing it).
M&B Creative Creations have been officially in business for just over 5 years. I don't run it alone but the past 2 years I have mainly ran it alone as my business partner was going through her own things and instead of telling her straight out that I can't do it alone I tried to do it all on my own.
I am the type of person who believes that they need to take care of everyone, always been the strong one and never ever ask for help because it shows weakness.
Now I will add a little bit that as a women it seems that it is harder to ask for help because some how in societies eyes we are supposed to be able to to do it all on our own and asking for help means weakness. If it were a man he would be able to delegate without questions. As a women on the other hand, some how that isn't allowed. Some how if we delegate or ask for help we are considered lesser of a women, well guess what FUCK OFF! We are one person just like any man is. We can't do it all and those women who act like they can do it all, life is perfect and they are okay are just liars. How do I know? Because I am that women. I am that women who has it all together, who never needs help, who never asks for anything, who of course will help you even though her plate is slowly cracking. Who then gets sick, or goes off the deep end for a short time, picks it all back up and moves right along doing it again. This needs to stop, we are killing ourselves, we are killing each other.
End of women's lib rant.
I suffered burn out this past few months, I tried to push through it. My business partner lost her little sister suddenly so I pushed on because I had to. It got to the point where I didn't want to look at business page which turned into I wouldn't look at it. It started out as tired all the time (which is pretty normal for someone with my medical issues) to not being able to get out of bed at all and I don't mean the its cold, I am tired, I don't wanna get out of bed. Actually not able to get out of bed physically.
I was not okay, I stopped cleaning, cooking, eating, self care. That's right I showered as little as possible! Yup I said it!!! My child lived off easy things like cut fruit and veggies okay towards the end it wasn't even cut we would get the container out of the fridge and go to town, popcorn and anything in a package that I could hand him was his food. His dad would make him dinner and he would eat that. Unfortunately dinner on his dads standards and my standards are different but guess what he was fed!
As most of you know I homeschool well when you suffer burn out most of homeschool goes out the window. You do the bare minimum this means, work sheets and field trips with the homeschool group of course, because well I had to keep the act up that everything was okay.
Am I okay now? No, this is going to be a slow process of climbing out of the dark place I ended up. It is going to be healing. It isn't, this time, going to be just going back to the way things were, this is going to be healing my mind and body (well what I can heal of my body lol). This is going to be admitting I can't do it all.
I didn't have business hours. I felt that I needed to respond to every client right away including at 3am when they message. I felt like if I didn't I would loose a potential client. This isn't right. Clients who think I have to answer in 3 seconds are out to lunch. I don't expect other businesses to get back to me right away so why I am answering and putting that kind of always being "open" pressure on myself.
I am human I sleep!
Burn out is hard, burn out isn't pretty and its scary as hell.
No one talks about this in the small business world. You are not weak for not being able to do it all.
I would stay up until 4am working on clients orders to make sure they were finished. This isn't happening anymore.
I am going to have business hours because I need to have time to shut down. I need to be closed. I am not the business, I am the owner, I am human! I need to treat myself like I do the business and have hours for me too!!!
Many business owners will not admit this happens, this one of the reason so many close down because you just can't do it long term. We can not run on all cylinders 24/7 long term. Its not possible!!!
What changed for me?
This weekend is what changed for me! I did an event with my business partner which hasn't happened in a long time for the past few years what events I do are done alone (usually with Connely's help) or not at all. I talked to other business people I haven't had a chance to talk to in sooo very long! I talked to my business partner that I haven't had a change to talk to in a long time either, like really talk to.
We set hours for this week and yes they will change each week based on what is going on for us but these are hours that we will work TOGETHER again as a team. I made myself tentative goals for each day to tackle 1 thing at a time instead of seeing it all and freaking out.
Time and personal awareness are the only things that are going help me heal this time. No more doing everything for everyone and I don't mean just business wise either. Time to delegate! Time to shut off! Time to heal!
As a small business, as a women, as mom, as a freaking HUMAN we need to support each other! We need to ask for help. We DON'T need to be everything to everyone 24/7/365!!!!!
Burn out sucks and yes it took its tole on my business but I made an honest post about it on our facebook page the other day. No it is not something many businesses would do, it is not something that many people would do and yes I might loose clients but that's okay, it is time for business people to start being honest!!!
