Reindeer poop

So many recipes to try so little time

I miss my drive to bake, I miss the energy I had to be in the kitchen all the time.

The kids LOVE being in the kitchen with me whether it is baking or cooking dinner they don't want to miss a minute of it.

This year I have been baking with each little one to make cookies for the cookie trays. For this, my OCD has to take a back burner which is hard for me to do. Years of baking cakes and so many other sweet treats for clients where everything had to be perfect will do that to a person.

No, I don't let the kids pick their own recipes only because they don't know enough about the millions of different cookies to make choices. For example, every time I bake with "H" she wants to make oatmeal cookies, that would make for some pretty boring cookie trays if they were only filled with oatmeal cookies.

This year I am winging the cookie trays, it will be whatever I feel like baking that day on each of them.

Thus far we have made oatmeal, oatmeal chocolate chip, what I call reindeer poop, confetti squares, and whipped shortbread.

The oatmeal, oatmeal chocolate chip, and reindeer poop all made it to the freezer. The confetti squares seem to have been eaten by our house hippos. We will be remaking those.


The oatmeal cookies are one recipe that I will never give out.

This is the recipe for the reindeer poop cookies. I LOVE these cookies and have been making them since I was about 12, it is a recipe my grandmother taught me.

Reindeer poop

What you need:

3 cups quick oats
1 cup flaked coconut (you can use sweetened or unsweetened)
2  cups white sugar
1/2  cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 milk
1/2 margarine

What to do:

1) Mix oats and coconut in a large bowl

2) In a heavy saucepan or a normal pot (I use a special heavy saucepan that is only used for baking) mix butter, cocoa, milk and margarine together. Over medium heat melt everything together. Bring to a boil and allow to cook for 2 more minutes.

3) Line a cookie sheet with parchment (I like when recipes tell me to do things like this while I am waiting for things to mix from step 1)

4) Once it has cooked for 2 minutes pour over the oats and coconut in your large bowl. Mix well.

5) By the tablespoon put scoops onto your lined cookie sheet and put in the fridge until hard. Eat right away, store in a container or freeze like what we are doing.

Let me know how yours turned!!! I would like to see pictures of your creations!



 

Christmas Magic?

 

 

https://www.pngkit.com/bigpic/u2e6i1t4e6t4q8y3/

 

Maybe I want to be told that I haven't screwed up my child.
 
Christmas has never been about "magic" and all that other stuff. I don't tell him if you are naughty or nice is the only way you get presents or coal. We don't put conditions on love like that.

I have always done most of the Christmas shopping all year round and normally when he is with me. I tell him it is not for now and he always has know okay that means it is for Christmas and I put it up in the laundry room.

This year we have the girls and they know about the magic and Santa. So that means I have to do at least some shopping without them so I don't ruin things for them.

At the dollar store yesterday I didn't even think, I put a ton of stocking stuffers in the cart and I said to the kids nope nothing in our cart. They loved the game but when it comes to Christmas I am worried that they are going to see it was the stuff we bought when we were out.

Also, this is the first year that Blaine went in and checked out the Christmas stuff, he has never bothered with it before and then he was very upset when I told him I was disappointed that he broke my trust. L the oldest girl just thought it was funny.

I have done a little bit of shopping without them and hid those presents well.

Normally I have the stocking from Santa and a few presents. They are wrapped in Santa paper to let the kids know it comes from Santa.

As I watch the girls excited that "chippy" at nanas house moves around. Blaine could careless and just says "it is stuffed that means he isn't real"

He has always been very logical and never played "pretend" even when I tried over the years to play fun imagination games with him,
he says "ya know mom that isn't real" "you know mom there are no transformers in real life it's just a movie". Lol, thanks for ruining it for me kid.

He would rather do things that he is learning or things that don't involve playing pretend.

Did I make him like this because I never made a big deal about Santa coming or that he is magic?

Did I ruin his childhood because I never made a big deal about the figures around the holidays?

He is the same with Easter never cared about the rabbit, gets bored with finding the eggs.

He gets more excited about visiting Grandma, Grandpa, Great Grandma and other family members and playing with them.

Should I try and fix this? Should I suddenly have an elf that moves around?

I am feeling some huge mom guilt over this and it is driving me crazy!

What do you do to have the magic of Christmas in your house?

I know its a pretty simple thing to have a ton of mom guilt about but for me it is important.

The dread word.

Let's talk about vaccines. I know it's a very controversial topic and a lot of people get their knickers in a knot over it but, I am not talking about if you should be vaccinated or not, I am not talking about if your children should be vaccinated or not. 

Let's talk about the science behind it. Let's talk about the doctors behind it. Let's talk about the years of research behind it. Let's talk about the facts. 

The first vaccine was created in 1796 by a doctor who lived in England. Even in 1796 he tested the vaccine, did trials and even wrote papers on it. His clinical trials and research led to the smallpox vaccine saving thousands. His trials and research are the basis for vaccinology. Through his theory he has saved millions of lives over the decades. 

Did you know antivaccinationism has been around since the 1800s? Yes even back then they protested it, comparing to bloodletting. Now that is a bit extreme if you ask me. 

Over the decade's vaccines have changed, methods have changed. We don't remove lymph from pustules on the arms of those recently vaccinated anymore to make the vaccine. We use Petri dishes and samples that are kept in sterile environments. Even in 1796 with the risk of contracting other infections or diseases most people thought the benefits outweighed the risks. 

Yes, as the years pass we learn from those before us, we learn what works, what doesn't, what is dangerous and what is safe. 

MERCURY!! This is a big one, and one anti-vaxers scream from the rooftops. Since 1999 it has been reduced or eliminated from vaccines and other drugs. By 2001 it was removed from childhood vaccines in the united states. 

 

Do you know why it was used though? Do you know what it is actually called?  

Thimerosal is what its actual name is and it is used as a preservative. It prevents bacteria growth in vaccines and a preservative is required for all multi-dose vaccine vials. 

Your body doesn't store Thimerosal and removes it very quickly. It is safe. 

This quote is for Canada and comes from the immunize.ca website "Nevertheless, no vaccine in Canada since March 2001 for routine use in children contains thimerosal, except for some influenza vaccines. DTaP, polio and Hib vaccines have not contained this preservative since 1997-98. The MMR vaccine used in Canada has never contained thimerosal."

Now I am not here to preach to the choir or try to convert anyone, the reason for this post at all is because we are starting to roll out the new covid vaccine and this is new and new scares people. 

A couple of neat things that are not making the news. Why are children less affected? Why are younger generations less affected or have it less severe? Turns out it is because of a vaccine that many of us and many of the children get. The MMR vaccine! This vaccine is helping to protect people! This is really neat. 

Do you know what this horrible virus is overshadowing? The fact the there is something really cool that happened, first in history a vaccine using mRNA! 

The vaccines being rolled out in places like the United States and England have gone through trials and are based on proven scientific methods. There is one though that is likely going to get most of the media attention and not because it works, or is safe but because it has not even completed stage 3 trials. This one is scary and this one is going to create more fear in those who are already scared as is. This one is the Russian Sputnik Vaccine. They rolled it while it is still in the development stage, and are pretty much using their population as a phase 3 trial which is scary. 

BUT guess what??? Guess what isn't scary? We are not getting that one. The ones we are getting are tested, fully. Yes, they were tested quickly but with so many dying worldwide we needed to get on this and fast. 

People are screaming that we (Canada) are not getting it soon enough. That we are not first on the list. Well, let me clear a few things up here. 

First, we didn't develop the vaccine, so of course, the countries that develop it get to vaccinate their people first. 

Second, let them be the first to get it, yes it completed trials and it is safe but there is still that underlying thought in the back of everyone's head that is whispering "are they sure?" watching others in the world get will help squash that fear. 

Third stop being selfish. We are a rich country we could afford to buy the vaccine but what about those who can't?

I am pro-choice on all issues as long as it doesn't affect those around you. For those who can't read between the lines, we can't create herd immunity and protect those around us if we don't vaccinate the majority. 

My final word on this they are not going to microchip you because you are not that important so get over yourself. 

 

Taken from google

 

 

 Information taken from the following sources

https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/full/10.1377/hlthaff.24.3.611 

https://www.fda.gov/vaccines-blood-biologics/safety-availability-biologics/thimerosal-and-vaccines#toc

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/concerns/thimerosal/index.html

https://mbio.asm.org/content/11/6/e02628-20

https://www.statnews.com/2020/11/10/the-story-of-mrna-how-a-once-dismissed-idea-became-a-leading-technology-in-the-covid-vaccine-race/

Ramblings from a mind in chaos

Fluff that is all it has been.
NOTE: THIS IS A BRAIN DUMP!!! READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO "HEAR" IT

Fluff is all I have written since being told by The Children's Aid Society that it's okay to have an outlet for my life but, it is not okay for it to be public like my blog is.

Fluff just wasn't doing what I needed it to do to soothe my soul that aches to write. This week I just couldn't get rid of the craving for writing. The strong urge to write something other than, for lack of a better word that hasn't been used too many times already in this blog post and I am only just starting it, FLUFF.
 
I have decided that they can fuck their hat (sorry for the language.) I can write what I like when I like and how I like.
Chaos is one word for my mind, a million things are going on in it all the time and half of them are things I want to write about!
 Did you know that someone might figure out who the children I write about are? Did you know they might figure out who their mother and family are? Did you know that 99% of people who actually read my blog already freaking know who they are? Did you know that I am done caring what others think of my writing outlet?
I will do an update post later about the children and all the crap that is going with a system that makes me want to scream and pull my hair out!
Things in my mind right now!

Did you know that I stopped caring, wanting to decorate or so anything with the holidays (any holiday) when I stopped hosting it?

Do you know that people make me so angry, people who can't actually do some research and read LEGIT articles from REAL sources to get their information before sharing it?

Tessa has become my shadow (She is a foster dog with issues who can't be placed in another home unless they have no other animals or plan to have any other animals or come into contact with other animals because she will attack them...All 20lbs of her)

Tessa could be called a "pitbull" in Ontario that means she could be ordered to be put to sleep, all 20ish LBS of her. Do you know why? Because she has the stance, the smile and the square head of a breed that is banned by description. Did you know it is not backed by any science or proof of any kind?

2020 has been a tough year. Yes, I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge but even those of us who have those things are not okay. Are struggling to get through each day, but we are not allowed to say anything or speak up because so many have it worse. Yes, you bet your boots so many have it so much worse and I wish I could fix it for them all, but I am allowed to not be okay too. YOU are allowed to not be okay too!
I LOVE children anyone who knows me knows that they know that they will always come first for me and I will protect them with my life. Some use this to their advantage as a weapon knowing that I will not allow any harm to come to them. Those people have issues!
JUST WEAR THE GOD DAMN MASK, MY KIDS RANGING FROM 4-7 ALL WITH ISSUES OF DIFFERENT SORTS CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU!!!
Getting mad at wait staff for the rules the government sets in place to protect everyone is not their fault. They are following the rules, you should give it a try sometime.
Surgery sucks, and it hurts, and it takes a very long time to heal, even if the outside looks semi-healed the inside is a mess of all sorts.
Addiction sucks, yes I am not allowed to hate the addict but I am sure as hell allowed to hold them accountable for their actions and behaviours. Yes, there will be a post addiction.

I plan to write every day again and write whatever I want to write with limited fluff. Still need the fluff in there so it's not all ramblings.

I made a promise a while back to myself mainly but also who actually read my blog and that was to write 1000 words a day and I need to keep that promise to myself.

Christmas is right around the corner and I am not even close to ready. The tree isn't up (hoping today), the decorations are not lit and I am defiantly not feeling the Christmas cheer and it's not even because it's 2020 and such a crap year.

Well, apparently that took care of what my brain needed because now my head is fuzzy and I need a nap. Some people need to talk it out, some people need to yell and scream, some people need to be physically active (I miss that after I recover I am hoping to get back at working out), and some people need to write. Even if they know no one is reading it.

I have so many topics I want to write about in the coming year. This year was supposed to be my year to take the kids everywhere and write about our travels and learning, seeing as that didn't happen. This coming year will be all about writing, creating other amazing memories with the children and not just making it through the day to day muddle but actually living! Oh and healing! Can't forget about that one, not only do the little ladies in my care need healing but so do I.

Do you have plans for 2021? I know with the way 2020 went it's so hard to see or even want to try and make plans, but if we don't then we have nothing to look forward to and we all need to have a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how small it might be.

You are loved, You are wanted, You are amazing!!!

Photo Borrowed from: https://devpost.com/software/brain-dump-izd71t

Chocolate covered strawberry brownies

YUM is one word for it. Easy is another.

I found a bunch of pinterest recipes I wanted to try with the strawberries I got on the farm that were different than my normal go to recipes.

This one was the first one I tried and its quick, simple, the kids and men loved it. I didn't like it.

Here is the link to the full recipe!

What you need:

2 12oz bags of chocolate chips (I only used 1 bag)
1 box of brownie mix (this might be why I didn't like them, I like my homemade mix better)
1 egg (or whatever the mix tells you)
1/4 cup of oil or whatever the mix tells you
1/4 cup of water or whatever the mix tells you
1/3 cup milk (I don't measure this I just use a bit in with the chocolate to make it melt)

Directions:

1) Preheat oven to 350°

2) Grease and line your pan

3) Mix your brownie batter as per the instructions on the box

4) Bake as per the instructions on the box

While the brownies bake:

5) Quarter or half your strawberries

6)  Melt your chocolate and milk together in a double broiler or heavy sauce pan on the stove.

Once brownies are baked:

7) Put strawberries on top of brownies

8) Evenly pour melted chocolate on brownies

9) Place in freezer for about 20 mins. Frozen squares are easier to cut.

10) Remove from pan and cut into equal squares

Enjoy!!!

Now I am not sure why I didn't like them but the kids loved them and so did the men. It made enough for dessert last night and some to freeze for later.

Birthdays

 Today I turn 35 years old.

I HATE birthdays always have since the time I was very small I would cry at every birthday and I remember this vividly because my mother used to make fun of me every year for it.(Side note you should never make fun of children those memories last a life time.) 

I don't care that I am aging that doesn't bother me. Always young at heart and all that jazz.

Every year I wonder what have I done to make a difference in this world. What have I done to leave an impact and the world a little better. I try to tell myself that its the little things that cause a ripple effect. But in the back of my mind I am telling myself that isn't enough, I am not enough. 

I tend to treat life like a check list, like one of my to do lists. 

This year instead of a to do list I am creating a list of things I have done to impact others, things that I have done that caused little ripples in this world. 

Maybe one day I will create a bigger ripple, ones that make an impact at the world level. I doubt it but I can always dream right?

 I know, I know, its like saying I need validation through helping others to make me have self worth. But for me thats not it all. Every ounce of me has a need to help others. A need to right the wrongs and try to leave the world a little better when I leave than when I got here. 

 I don't need a pat on the back or a thank you or world recognition I just need to know in my own mind that I made a difference. 

 

 

Meal Planning

The children are adapting to our new schedule perfectly. Now comes the meal planning.

I hang our weekly menu on the wall in the kitchen each week so EVERY one can see it. If I am not here for whatever reason and another adult needs to make lunch or a snack they easily know what to make without any extra thoughts.

With things the way they are right now we make sure we buy everything for 2 weeks so all we have to go out for is fruit each week. It limits our time exposed to others who may be sick. The children don't get to go shopping with us right now which is sad for them but they are little and the touch EVERYTHING.

I normally meal plan dinners for the entire month but now with all four children home I meal plan, breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. They eat on average every 2 hours so there is no reason to snack in between those. This way I know exactly what to buy and how much to buy to last the full 2 weeks without running out.

The program I use is like excel by open office  

One night a week (normally Tuesdays) we order from a local restaurant who is offering pick or delivery at this time. This is to help support local business stay alive during this very stressful period. I know it may not seem like much but its important for us to help limit the changes in business that we will see when this is all over.

Most of my recipes come from Pinterest or ones that I have used for years and have become go to favourites! 

Do you meal plan? Do you meal prep?