Anyone who follows my blog knows about my son Owen and that I had an adoption plan in place before I had him. I picked an amazing family for him and he has grown into the most amazing, loving and caring child ever.
About 2 years ago I had two miscarriages. One was at 8 weeks and one was at 16 weeks. The one at 8 weeks was difficult but not where nears as hard as the one at 16 weeks. Richards mother had just committed suicide, he was back out west working and I ended up having to have a DNC. The baby stopped developing at about 9 weeks but my body hung on to the baby until 16 weeks.
With my first pregnancy I was very worried about how Owen would feel about me having a new baby, if he would feel like this child is in someway better then him because I kept it and not him. No way is any child/children I have better than Owen, I was at a time in my life when things were not okay to bring a child into it. It was not by any means an easy decision and its still not today.
This time I ready to answer any questions that Owen might have even though the fear that he will hate me is still strong in my mind, my fear this time was losing another child to miscarriage. I waited until I was about 8 weeks before I told my family and I did through Christmas cards. I wrote in each one a cute rhyme. One said jingle bells jingle bells oh what fine it is to announce a baby's on the way.
After that I still held off until my 12 week ultrasound to tell a few more people. I am now not keeping it a secret, I am in my 18th week but still scared.
I have decided not to post too much about the pregnancy on my facebook as I have a women on my facebook who lost her son at 26 weeks along :( I know how I felt seeing or being around other pregnant people and there is no way I can intentional do that to someone else.
My first trimester wasn't too bad I had night sickness, some food aversions and dead tired all the time but it was nothing compared to with Owen.
I am now in my second trimester and its okay so different from with Owen I am showing a lot sooner and don't have the high energy levels I did with him.
I am due Aug 8, 2014 but because I have to have a c-section I will deliver a week or so before.
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