Dec 30, 2011 Miscarriage

Well we had started to tell everyone I was pregnant when we reached almost 6 weeks. We were super excited. Started to fill out the pregnancy books, and calendar. We had just told my mom that morning that we were expecting and my grandma as well. At about 2pm I started to be in alot of pain, figured it was just cramping which I had been having all week. I went to the bathroom and there was blood, but spotting nothing major which I had with Owen so I didn't worry about it. The pain started to get really bad and the amount of blood was a lot more so I decided to lay down for a bit, thinking maybe I over did it. At about 4pm I couldn't handle the pain anymore and I knew something was wrong. I went to the hospital and was there only about 3.5 hours which isn't too bad. They did an internal ultra sound which showed a sac, with fluid, but no embryo tissues. They did blood work and a unrine test, the urine test showed that my HCG was at 25 and that is really low for being 5.5 weeks along so they told. He told me I had me I was having a miscarriage and to come back in a week so they could check my HCG levels. So I went home and I did as much research as possible is hopes that I could find that he was wrong, which of course I did when you look hard enough on the internet you are bound to find whatever answer you are looking for. New Years Eve and my denial bubble bursts :(. So News Years Eve sucked. I am in a ton of pain which IBprofin dosen't touch, I am sad and fighting back tears all day and the smallest thing makes we cry. I spent most of New Years Eve day in bed. New Years Day which is today I am "okay". Still in pain, still want to cry all the time. I got asked if I was going to try again, and my answer was I am not sure I really want to be a mom, but I don't think I can go through this again. The ER doc told me to call my OB on Tues when he is back in the office and that is what I plan on doing. I really wish that the ER doc was wrong, but most of my pregnancy symptoms have gone away :(. When the ER Doc told me I was miscarrying his last words were "oh well it happens you can always try again next month" Where is the compassion in that.


HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!