Owen started school this year. He loves it and is doing awesome, he has to go to day care every other day and it is a fight to get him to go because he says its for babies and he only goes to real school now.
He is growing like a weed, again this summer he got to spend three weeks in Greece, he is such a beach bum. He tans like I do and stays tan most of the year. His adoptive mom says with him blue eyes, blond hair and tanned skin hes gonna catch the eye of all the girls.
I got some news and I wasn't sure to react to it, not even sure if I know at this point. It brought a wide range of mixed feelings.
Owen knows who I am, yes he has always know I am Crystal, and his special friend but he now understands who I am. He not even 4 year yet. I didn't think that he would know this soon or even ever. His adoptive parents are the best, when I picked them I couldn't ask for anymore. I am grateful for them wanting me to be apart of his life.
When asked "How'd you get so darn cute?" His response is "That's how my special friend made me" I was shocked to say the least, happy, scared, nervous and so much more. I cried for many reasons. I am not sure I am ready for his questions yet. He is smart beyond his age range, he has always been ahead of the pack when it comes to intelligence, I say its all the fish I ate when I was pregnant with him. I worry how knowing this is going to effect his ability to have healthy relationships down the road. I have read way more on the subject of children, adoption, bonds and future relationships than I care to admit. He makes friends quickly and has always been easy going and laid back.
Owen is a well rounded, happy, healthy child but I still worry how my decision to have an adoption plan in place for him will effect him as he grows.
I of course have said from day one I would never hide anything from him and answer all of his questions. I have said I will be apart of his life always to whatever extent he wants me there. I knew one day I would have to start answering questions, I just didn't think it was going to be this soon.
When we visit, which has been far between, my choice, seeing him and leaving is really hard on me, I want to be apart of his life, but the pain of seeing him all the day is sometimes too much to handle.
I am lucky he has the adoptive parents he does, they are understanding, loving, supportive and want me to be apart of his life.
I love my son and not matter what is to come I will be strong enough to answer any questions no matter how hard they may be.
New picture to come!
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